When I See You Smile
by McCookie
Summary: AU: Mer, Mark, Derek and the NJ Devils? Updated! I hope you enjoy...love hearing from you....keep the comments coming!
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Grey's Anatomy or the NHL; I do not know any of the players personally nor have I researched them for this story. Any mention of the players is strictly for entertainment only, any similarities to their personal lives is by chance. _**

  
**Thank you for reading, please comment and enjoy!  
**

It was a crisp fall afternoon in October. Meredith was getting ready to attend a season opener NHL Hockey game. Her Step father, Richard, held box seats at Madison Square Gardens. These box seats were used to entertain Doctors and VIP Business prospects; especially anyone who would be interested in supporting the Hospital financially and for those Surgeons who needed to be treated like royalty.

Tonight was to be a good match up, it was the New York Rangers taking on their rivals, the New Jersey Devils. These 2 teams have always put on a good show for the fans. Since they were so close in proximity, there were plenty of fans for both teams, which always worked out well for them. Some intense Hockey was always played between these two teams, and nothing was going to change tonight.

Meredith was told that some new hot shot Doctor would be attending the game, and that she was to be polite and friendly. Meredith didn't care, she always was respectful to Richard's prodigy. She was going to watch the game because she loved hockey, more importantly, she enjoyed watching her long time friend, Martin Brodeur. He has been the goalie for the Devils since he began his NHL career. They met one night at a party, and have been friends ever since. She was going to meet up with him and his wife after the game for some drinks. It had been a while since she had seen them and she was excited.

Meredith dressed in her jeans and New Jersey Devils Sweater, her jersey that Martin had given her. She walked downstairs to greet Richard.

R:Are you ready Meredith?

M:Yes, but if you don't mind, I will go on my own, I'm meeting up with Martin and his wife after the game. I'm not sure when I will be home.

R:of course, are you working in the morning?

M:Yes, I have surgery scheduled at 8 am, so I won't be too late.

R:Ok, I'll meet you there then.

M:Ok.

It had been 3 years since her mother passed away. Her and Richard had always been close, he was as loving as any father would be. When her biological father left them when she was only 3, Richard came in and picked up where her father had left off. Eventually Richard married Ellis and raised Meredith as if she was his own. Just before her mother's death, Meredith had moved back home. Meredith had finished medical school and accepted a position at Seattle Grace Hospital where she completed her internship and residency. Once her mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, Meredith moved back to New York to be with her. They had remained close, and Meredith had a hard time letting her go. Richard was able to secure her an attending position at New York's prestigious private hospital, Liberty Wellness Centre. She had achieved quite the reputation as one of the top Neuro Surgeons in the country, and Richard knew that she would be welcomed with open arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Meredith arrived at Madison Square Gardens just before game time. She entered through the private gates, and wanted to see Martin before game time. She walked the long hall to the locker room. Fortunately, the Devils' had not left the room yet; she asked one of the trainers if she could see him. He verified her identification, and invited her into the locker room. Once she was in the room, she spotted him immediately and walked over.

M:So? Should I set up here – or do you want a private dance?

Br:Meredith? He walked up to her and picked her up in a bear hug. It's great to see you, I didn't think that I would see you until after, how did you get down here?

M:Oh, I have my connections. Smiling at him, I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I will be watching. Is Ashley here yet?

Br:Yeah, she can't wait to see you. She's sitting with the boys and my mom.

M:Are we still on for later?

Br:Yes! My mom is going to take the kids home so that we can go out later.

M:Great! I will see you after the game; she gives him a kiss on the cheek and walks out of the room.

Brodeur goes back to dressing and preparing for the game while Meredith makes her way upstairs to the private boxes. Once upstairs, Meredith greets Richard with a kiss on his cheek smiling.

R:What has you smiling young lady?

M:I went down to the locker room to see Brodeur before coming up here. It was good to see him, it's been a while.

R:Well, I'm glad. He's been a good friend to you. Him and Ashley. How are the kids?

M:They are good, they are here at the game, his mom is taking them home after so that we can go out. Is your new hot shot doctor here?


	3. Chapter 3

R:Yes he is, come with me so I can introduce you. Just so you know, he signed his contract this afternoon. He starts on Monday.

M:What field is he in again?

R:Plastics.

M:Oh, so he's all about image, that's great…can't wait to meet him.

R:You don't have to. They walk over to where the new doctor is sitting; he stands up when he sees Richard approaching him.

Dr. Sloan, I would like to introduce you to Dr. Meredith Grey, our head of Neurology. Dr. Grey, this is Dr. Mark Sloan, our new head of plastics.

Ma:It's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Grey.

M:Nice to meet you as well, but please, when we aren't at the hospital, please call me Meredith.

Ma:And you can call me Mark.

Meredith smiled at him. She looked over at Richard, and then back at Mark.

M:I think the game is about to begin, if you'll excuse me.

Meredith leaves to take her seat; she always likes to sit in the front to have the best view. Most of the doctors and business men come to take advantage of Richard's hospitality and drink themselves crazy, but Meredith comes to watch the game. She enjoys it; it's a time out for her. With the hours she pulls at the hospital, she isn't able to get out much. So, when she can, she enjoys it.

Ma:So, is she a new surgeon as well?

R:No, she has been at Liberty for 3 years now.

Ma:Where was she before that? I've heard her name, just trying to place her.

R:SGH, Seattle Washington.

Ma:She's been highlighted in many medical journals hasn't she?

R:Yes, she has. She's the best, we are very lucky to have her.

Ma:What's her story? Is she married?

R:He sees why Dr. Sloan is asking, and he becomes VERY protective. No, she isn't. She has always been focused, and no one has caught her eye.

Mark looks at him and starts chuckling.

Ma:The way you talk, you'd think that you were her father. He pats Richard on his shoulder and walks towards Meredith. Is this seat taken?

M:No, of course not. She was still very focused on the game.

Ma:So, I guess I don't need to ask which team you are cheering for.

M:She smile at him, I guess it's pretty obvious isn't it? Laughing.

Ma:Now, why? Why are you rooting for the Devils? What is it about them that deserves your attention?

M:Looks at him. – Seriously? Do you even watch Hockey?

Ma:I do, a little. But I've always been a New Yorker, so I have to go with the Rangers. Why?

M:well for starters, they have the number one goalie in the league; not much gets by him.

Ma:Brodeur? He's weak. You can tell – if it wasn't for the defense, they would be done.


	4. Chapter 4

M:Meredith looked at him astonished. She decided to play along. Really? So, What would you say if I reminded you about the 3 cups that they have earned in the past 10 years, when one of the only constant players was Brodeur?

Ma:Ok – you've got me there – but why else do you enjoy them.

M:Truthfully, I enjoy that they play as a team. When I watch hockey, most of the teams in the league have one or two hotshots. They have paid a lot of money to get the best. But the Devils, they all work together. There are no hot shots.

Ma:What? You think given the right amount of money, Brodeur wouldn't take the chance to move?

M:No I don't.

Ma:And what makes you so sure about this?

M:Well, for starters – he took a pay cut to stay with the Devils.

Ma:Really? That won't last for long. I'm sure once he realizes how much he could be paid, he'll be gone.

M:I don't think so.

Ma:You're so sure aren't you? Why? Hate to tell you I told you so.

M:No – he'll stay in Rutherford. If he doesn't – I'll kick his ass.

Ma:Oh yeah, this I would love to see, you a fan walking up to him and kicking his ass. You are a peanut compared to him. Besides, you wouldn't be able to get any where close to him.

Mark just laughs. He can't believe that she is the Head of Neurology at Liberty. How could someone so brain dead be a brain surgeon. He just sat beside her and watched the rest of the game.

Meredith wasn't surprised at Mark's comments. He was just as she suspected, all about image. What it appeared to be on the surface – not realizing the aspect of friendship. At intermission, she got up to leave. Mark followed,

Ma:Meredith? She kept walking. Dr. Grey?

M:Yes?

Ma:How about after the game, we go out for a drink – you can apologize to me for being a Devil's fan when the Rangers win.

M:How generous of you. Sorry, but I can't. I'm going out with a friend.

Ma:Oh, can I come along? I'm great company.


	5. Chapter 5

M:Sorry, not tonight. I am meeting up with my friends that I haven't seen in a long time. It's just for us. Maybe some other time.

Ma:I'll hold you to that.

M:sarcastically, You do that.

Meredith returned to her seat in time for the 3 period. She was getting intense, the Devils were down 2-1, and she was hoping that they could pull it out. Not only for Brodeur, but to show Mark that they have it in them. Just as she was thinking that, one of the Rangers' players got a breakaway….Meredith stood up holding her breath. As he took a shot, Brodeur was there, made the save. She jumped for joy. Brodeur passed the puck to Elias and he took it down the ice with Madden and Gomez. They scored with 2 minutes left to tie it up. After the face off, the Devils were given a tripping penalty. It seemed over, but without warning, Madden broke free on a breakaway. He faked the shot and scored. The Devils won on a shorthanded goal. Meredith was jumping up and down cheering. She looked over at Mark who sat there stunned.

M:That's why they deserve my attention. Smiling she started to walk away.

Mark got up and followed her.

Ma:Well, maybe I should reconsider who I cheer for. But I still say that Brodeur will be gone soon, he can't keep up the charade for long.

M:Like I said before, if he leaves – I will kick his ass.

Ma:I would love to see you try – in fact, when it happens – I will personally come and bail you out of jail.

M:I'd like to see that day – but like I said – he won't leave.

Meredith smiles and gets up to leave. She stops and talks to Richard before leaving.

M:Hey – did you see that?

R:Sorry – I was busy talking. Did he win?

M:slightly taken aback, Yes, of course, was there any doubt?

Richard laughed and smiled at her. Just then Mark walked up to them. Mark was watching the interaction between them; he began to wonder if there was something more going on.

M:She looked over at Mark, then at Richard. I'm going to get going, I won't be home too late.

R:I will see you later.

M:Mark, it was really nice meeting you. I hope that you enjoyed the game.

Ma:It was nice meeting you as well, the game, however, would have liked a different outcome.

M:Smiling, Told you so. She smirked and looked Mark. She kissed Richard on the cheek and left.


	6. Chapter 6

Ma:Well, aren't you a lucky man.

R:She's been my rock since my wife passed away.

Ma:I'm sorry, I didn't realize.

R:You couldn't have known. My wife passed away 3 years ago from Breast Cancer and Meredith coming when she did made all the difference.

Ma:I can imagine.

Richard noticed the tone in Mark's voice….he decided to let it go. He didn't care what others thought, if that's what Mark thinks of Meredith and his relationship, then Mark doesn't deserve her. He would make sure of that. He will make sure that he comes to the realization about Meredith being his Step Daughter when she is present. Although he would like nothing more than to correct him now, it'll be much more fun when Meredith gets wind of this. She can deal with him. He'll be digging himself out for months; Richard smiles, almost looking forward to it.

R:Well, I should get going. Mark, I will see you tomorrow at the hospital. I hope that you enjoyed the game.

Ma:Thank you sir, I will see you in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

Scene moves to Meredith waiting outside the Devil's Locker room. While she is waiting, she sees Mark Messier walking towards her.

Messier:Well now, what are you doing down here all by your lonesome?

M:Well, I'm not alone now am I?

They greet each other with a hug.

Messier:I see you are still cheering for the dark side.

M:Well, you know, just supporting the best team. She laughs.

Messier:Hahahaha, you think that you are soooo funny.

M:I haven't seen you in ages, what brings you back?

Messier:I'm not back, I'm just visiting. Nothing much. How about you? How are you doing? Last I heard you were with some hot doctor out in Seattle.

M:Well, that was a long time ago. Things change.

Messier:Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

M:Well, enough about me – what have you been up to for the last couple of years? I was hoping to see you more often, but you disappeared.

Messier:Never from you Meri.

M:It's good to hear you call me that again. I've missed you.

Messier:Me too. But things are good?

M:Umm, they're ok. I'm finally getting together with Ashley and Martin tonight. It's been way too long. How long are you and Vanessa in town?

Messier:She wasn't able to come. The boys have school. So, unfortunately I'm flying solo this trip. But hey, this way I get to visit with the guys without regret.

M:Yeah, that's good. Hugs him. It's really good to see you Mark.

Messier:You too Meri. I hope that you are happy. You deserve to be happy.

M:Please give Vanessa a hug for me, tell her that I miss her.

Messier:I will. Kisses her on her cheek and leaves.

Meredith just watches him leave. It wasn't too long ago that her life revolved around the Rangers. Ever since she can remember, Richard and her mom held box seats in the Gardens. She grew up with the hockey players. Richard was good friends with the owner. They were always included with prestigious parties and team get-togethers. She missed her friends here. So many years had been spent in Seattle, she enjoyed her time there, but it was still Seattle. It had been 4 years, yet her heart had never recovered, since he left her without any warning; without any contact information. She could feel the tears welling up. She was sure that part of her still loved him. She never heard from him again. He left without a trace. No one knew where he was. He didn't go to work for another hospital, no one could find him. He had left with her heart and never returned it.

_Meredith,_

_I am writing you this letter to say good-bye. This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do in my life. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. I have taken a new job, and I am leaving Seattle Grace Hospital. I cannot tell you where I am going. Please know, that if I could take you with me, I would._

_Meredith, I don't know how to tell you this…..I am married. I got married when I was an intern. Things hadn't been going well, so I left. I left and came to Seattle. I left and found you. I got a call from her family, she's sick. She is dying and needs me. So, I have to go. I have to be with her. I am so sorry._

_Derek_

Meredith was so deep in thought that she didn't notice Ashley approaching. Ashley could tell something was wrong. She could see it in her face. Meredith was looking down and almost hiding.


	8. Chapter 8

M:looked up, wiping the tears from her eyes, Ashley?

Ash:Hey! Are you ok? She asked hugging her friend. Holding her tight.

M:I'm ok. Mark Messier was just here, asked me about him. He didn't know.

Ash:I'm sorry. You still are having a hard time with this aren't you? It was so long ago.

M:I know. I'm just being stupid. Martin should be out soon, I'm really glad to see you.

Ash:Me too. How about we go head to the bar and wait for Martin there.

M:Oh no, I'm fine.

Ash:Who said anything about you? Laughing – I want a drink and to start catching up with you – girls only for a while.

M:laughing – sounds good – you'll call him and tell him – tell him that we will be in the booth at the back, more private – less of an audience for my dance.

Ash:You know, he still blushes whenever that is mentioned – you'll never let him forget will you?

M:Nope – NEVER. It was too much fun.

Laughing, they both start to leave and we see Ashley on her cell phone talking to Martin. He agrees to meet them at the bar.

Scene moves to the bar. Meredith and Ashley make their way to the booth in the back corner, just as they always had. The waiter comes and takes their orders. We see him leave and then the two of them start talking.

Ash:So, you want to talk about it?

M:I'll be ok.

Ash:Have you heard from him?

M:shaking her head, No, I haven't. Not one word. He obviously didn't love me. He chose to be with her.

Ash:holding her hand, I'm so sorry Meri, you don't deserve him. He was stupid to let you get away.

M:Yeah, well, I think that I'm the stupid one. I'm the one that can't move on.

Ash:You haven't met anyone?

M:No, I haven't.

Ash:You mean that you haven't had sex in 4 years?????? You????

M:Laughing, Thanks a lot. But to answer your question, no, I haven't. I tried. But I couldn't. It just wasn't right.

Ash:How is Michael? Has he been asking any questions?

M:All the time, but he is good. He is growing so fast. I can't believe that he is 3. He's good though. He keeps me going. He's all I've got.

Ash:Does he ask any questions about his father?

M:Not yet, but I'm sure the questions will start coming. He's starting to talk really well and he has made some friends in his daycare. So, don't know.

Ash:Well, hey, let's drink to seeing friends. It's been way too long.

M:Couldn't agree more.

Both the girls start drinking. About the 4th round Martin shows up and joins in. They sit for hours just catching up. Meredith is smiling genuinely for the first time in a while. She enjoys being in their company. She reminds them that she has surgery early, and excuses herself for the night.

They get up to hug her and see her off. Ashley and Martin sit back down.


	9. Chapter 9

Brodeur:She seems good.

Ash:She saw Mark Messier, he asked about him.

Brodeur:Shit, why?

Ash:he didn't know what happened.

Brodeur:That's the last thing she needed. How was she?

Ash:not good. Michael's a constant reminder. She hasn't moved on yet. She hasn't been with anyone in 4 years. She's surviving for Michael only. She said that he didn't love her because he chose to be with his wife instead.

Brodeur:Shit! I'm gonna kill him.

Ash:You know you can't tell him anything. He told us that we weren't allowed to day anything to her. He meant it too.

Brodeur:How can I not? This is absurd. He doesn't even know about Michael. Would things change if he did?

Ash:that's not up to us. She has to move on. She has to forget him.

Brodeur:what about Derek? What about his relationship with his son?

Ash:Martin, I will not allow you to hurt her. You know that if he wanted to know about her and what she was doing with her life, he would ask. He hasn't even talked to you. He doesn't want anything to do with her. He left her alone.

Brodeur:You're right, she doesn't deserve him, but doesn't Michael deserve a father?

Ash:No, not Derek. He has Meredith and Richard. Don't you dare betray her, she needs to be able to trust us.

Martin looks up at his wife. He can tell that she's worried about Meredith, and he agrees that betraying her would destroy her.

Brodeur:Ok, I won't say anything. I promise. Not that he's asked. But I won't.

Ash:I still can't believe that he hasn't asked. Does he even talk to you?

Brodeur:No, only when he has to. He pretty much keeps to himself. He's alone.

Ash:Well, after what he did, he deserves it.

Ashley and Martin get up to leave. They pay the bill and as they walk out of the bar, they are stopped by no one other than Derek Shepherd.

Ash:Well, look who it is.


	10. Chapter 10

Brodeur:Ashley, please.

D:Hi Ashley. You look good.

Ash:Wish I could say the same about you. Turns to Martin, I'm going to head back to our hotel. I'll meet you there. Don't take too long.

She kisses Martin on the cheek, turns and glares at Derek. She walks out of the bar without looking back.

D:Well, she's happy to see me.

Brodeur:I wonder why.

D:Still? She's still mad at me? Is there anything that I can do to change her mind?

Brodeur:Can you blame her? Martin looks up at him questioning. Why are you here?

D:What, I can't have a drink in a bar now? I have to check to make sure you and Ashley aren't going to be here?

Brodeur:No, that's not what I meant. How long have you been here?

D:I just got here about 20 minutes ago, why?

Brodeur:Why do you think?

D:What? Are you going to tell me or do I need to guess?

Brodeur:Did you see who we were sitting with?

D:No, I just saw you now. Why?

Brodeur:No reason. Just wondering why now, at this moment you decide to talk to me.

D:Martin, we go way back. I went to school with Ashley, remember?

Brodeur:Yes, I remember. Yet, you seem to have forgotten, when was the last time you actually spoke to me? When was the last time to talked to Ash? You used to come over all the time, you used to be welcome in our home, you were "Uncle Derek". What happened? What changed?

D:I screwed up. That's what happened.

Brodeur:Yes you screwed up. However, when you made your choice, when you decided, you forgot that you weren't the only person involved. You made your bed, but the rest of us are laying in it.

Martin brushed past him and walked out of the bar. Ashley was right, Meredith doesn't need to be hurt again. She doesn't need to be reminded of what Derek did to her.

Derek returns to the bar to finish his drink. He had hoped that Ashley would have been happy to see him. But, can he blame her, he had hurt her. He stopped returning her calls. She had told him once that it might not have turned out this way, but it did and he had to live with it.


	11. Chapter 11

_Flashback…._

_Ash:why did you leave her Derek? Just tell me why._

_D:I had to, you know why, Addison needed me. She was sick._

_Ash:I understand that you felt obligated to be there for her. But what is God's name made you return to her side? Why did you leave Meredith like that?_

_D:I had to, it was best for her._

_Ash:Oh, how noble, you did this for her?? _

_D:Do you think that it was easy for me to leave her? Do you think that I wanted to?_

_Ash:Then why did you? _

_D:Because Addison was my wife._

_Ash:Yes Derek, she WAS your wife, you two were separated, you were on your way for a divorce. _

_D:I don't expect you to understand Ash. You can't understand._

_Ash:You're right, I can't, I can't understand why you would leave Meredith with nothing. How could you do that to her? Meredith. I don't understand._

_D:How is she?_

_Ash:You have got to be kidding me. You have some nerve. First, not only did you up and leave her, but you left her for Satan. You left Meredith with nothing. Second, you left me._

_D:I never left you._

_Ash:Oh really, you didn't? Where were you when I called? Where were you when I left you information about my brother's illness? Where were you when I called and left you a message that Meredith's mom died?_

_You left me. You left my family. You left Meredith. You have no right to ask me anything._

_D:Looked up stunned. Mer's mom died? When?_

_Ash:Don't give me that…it was a year after you left. I called and told you. Martin told you. You knew. Don't give me that shit. You know what, don't talk to me anymore, cause I sure as hell don't want to talk to you._

…_end of Flashback…_

Derek takes a deep breath, gets up, throws a few dollars on the counter and walks out. He is still reeling from seeing Martin and Ashley. They are right. He didn't think about anyone else when he chose to return to Addison. He thought that he was doing the right thing. His mind continued to wander to thoughts of his time with Meredith. He wondered why now, why was he thinking about her. He walked to his hotel room and spent the night tossing and turning. The guilt continued to eat away at him, he barely made his flight.


	12. Chapter 12

As he walked onto the plane, he saw Martin sitting behind him. He thought, great, this will be a pleasant flight. He was hoping to be able to sleep, but not likely.

Brodeur:You look like shit Derek.

D:Couldn't sleep last night.

Brodeur:Huh, wonder what was keeping you up.

D:Looked right at him. I wouldn't know.

Derek sat down without saying another word. He just stared straight out the window. Meanwhile, behind him, Scott Gomez took his seat beside Brodeur.

Gomez:Hey, wanted to ask you…

Brodeur:laughing, No – I will not tell you that you are the only player in the league that can score on me.

Gomez:Laughing, not that. Who was that hot chick that came into the locker room before the game yesterday? I heard something about a private dance?

Brodeur:Laughing, she's a good friend of mine and Ashley's. We were meeting up for drinks after the game. Ashley and I haven't seen her in about 6 months or so. Ohhhh, don't bother, she's way out of your league man. He noticed Derek sit up in his seat.

Gomez:What makes you say that?

Brodeur:She's the top Neuro Surgeon in the Country

Gomez:Hey – I'd still stand a chance…that's ok. I was actually hoping to check out the private dance. Man she's hot.

Brodeur:Yeah, keep dreaming. That's an inside joke, it will never happen, she has too much class for that.

Gomez:How do you know her?

Brodeur:Ummm, he was being careful since Derek was sitting in front of him, he was watching to see his body language. She was dating a high school friend of Ashley's, they broke up, but we stayed in touch. She's been through a lot.

Gomez:I could tell.

Brodeur:Looks over at Scott, What do you mean?

Gomez:Well, after the game, I saw her talking to Messier, then, when Ashley came up to see her, she was crying. So, I just wondered what her story was.

Brodeur:He takes a deep breath, looks ahead – right into the back of Derek's head, Like I said she's been through a lot. But she's one in a million.

Gomez:She must be with someone.


	13. Chapter 13

Brodeur:No, she isn't. No one has caught her eye. She's lost a lot of her confidence, she's not the same person she used to be; she was hurt pretty bad. Marting keeps looking to see if Derek is listening.

Gomez:That's too bad. But – for the important question: Brodeur looks at him, What team was she cheering for?

Brodeur:Ours, without question. Ever since we met, she promised that she would always be a Devils fan. She's lived in New York most of her life, grew up practically in the Ranger's family, but, once she promises something….she follows through.

Gomez:That's pretty cool.

Brodeur:Yeah, it is.

Brodeur started setting up his iPod for the remainder of the flight, when Derek stood up and looked at him. Derek knew that Martin was talking about Meredith. He just looked right at Brodeur and was fighting the tears. Martin could see it in his face. Martin looked up at him.

Brodeur:You ok Derek? You don't look so good.

D:You saw her last night, that's why you were at the bar. You were with her.

Brodeur:What's it to you who I spend my time with. I seem to recall a certain Team doctor not acknowledging me until last night.

D:It's complicated and you know it.

Brodeur:No it's not. But you don't deserve her. You never did. You have no right to talk to me about her.

D:I made a mistake, can we not move on?

Brodeur:No, we can't. I can't put it behind us, because not only did you hurt her, you hurt Ashley. You hurt my family. I can't forget that.

Derek turned and walked to the back of the plane. Brodeur let him go, he went back to his usual flight ritual, listening to his iPod while in transit. It always helped him stay calm. No one knew that on his iPod, where messages from his children. He listened the them over and over again. Something Ashley had always done for him while he was traveling with the team. She would record her daily interaction with the boys; and then put it on his iPod whenever he returned home so he would feel a part of them while he was gone. He loved that about her, she was always thoughtful, he was lucky to have her in his life. As far as he was concerned, he was the luckiest man alive. He only wished that Meredith would find happiness, but he still wondered if Derek had a right to know about his son. Even though he didn't want to betray her, he couldn't help feeling that he had a right to know. His life wouldn't be the same without his children, and he knew Derek would be there no matter what, he had always wanted children.

Camera pans out and we see Brodeur listening to his iPod while Derek is sitting alone at the back of the plane. We see a tear fall down his cheek.


	14. Chapter 14

Scene moves to Liberty Wellness Centre the next morning. Meredith is scrubbing into her early surgery. She is greeted by her surgical team.

M:Good morning everyone, let's get to work, we have a life to save. She begins to remove the large tumor that was just detected the afternoon before. It is in a dangerous part of the brain, and if she takes too long, she could lose her patient. After only a few hours, she successfully removes all of it. She takes a deep breath and replaces the skull flap, and closes.

Great work everyone. Thank you for your help, I couldn't have done it without you.

Meredith leaves the patient in the hands of one the interns. They are to monitor for the next 24 hours and notify her if there are any changes. She leaves to talk to the family. On her way back to her office, she runs into Mark. It was his first day, and he had been able to observe her surgery from the gallery.

Ma:Dr. Grey, that was an amazing surgery you just performed. I was in awe watching you, you are so precise and graceful while you are in there, I can see why you are one of the best.

M:Dr. Sloan, thank you, How is your first day going so far?

Ma:Fine, I have managed to find my way around here pretty good. How was your night last night?

M:It was good. I've missed my friends. It was really good to see them.

Ma:Listen, I want to apologize, I hope you weren't upset about me asking to join you. I wouldn't have asked if I had known about you and Richard.

Meredith looks up at him, completely in disbelief. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

M:I'm sorry?

Ma:You and Richard, together. He told me that you have been together since his wife passed away. I just wanted you to know that had I known that, I wouldn't have asked you out. I also want you to know that I don't think that's why you are the Head of Neurology here, you have earned it on your skill alone. I just wanted you to here that from me. I hope that we can be friends.


	15. Chapter 15

Meredith notices Richard coming. She decides to let Mark have it in front of the Chief of Surgery. She wants Richard to know that he hired a complete idiot.

M:Richard, there you are.

Richard could tell that Mark had put his foot in his mouth. He knew what Meredith was up to.

R:Great surgery Meredith, I was able to watch for a few minutes, brilliant as ever.

M:Thanks. Dr. Sloan was just telling me the same thing.

Ma:She's one hell of a Doctor. Just thought that I should tell her I noticed. I hope that wasn't out of line.

R:Why would it be?

M:Well, according to Dr. Sloan, he wanted me to know that wouldn't have asked me out if he had known about us, our relationship.

R:Looks over at Mark, Our relationship? How do you mean?

Mark opens his mouth to speak, but Meredith cuts him off.

M:Dr. Sloan, please allow me. He apologized for being inappropriate. He also informed me about his feelings about my capabilities as the Head of Neurology. Which, I have to say, I didn't really know that I needed his approval,

Ma:That's not what I meant…

M:He also informed me that he didn't think that I achieved this position because of my relationship with you, that I earned it.

At this point, Richard is almost laughing, and Mark is completely beside himself. Meredith continues,

M:I'm glad that you came when you did. I was just about to provide the details of our relationship, when you came – so, I'm glad that you are here so we can do it together. Meredith looks at Mark – who has a blank look on his face – not prepared for what she is about to say.

First, Richard is not my boyfriend.


	16. Chapter 16

Ma:He's not?

R:No, I'm not.

M:He's my Step Father.

Ma:You're what?

M:My Step Father. He was married to my mother, DR. ELLIS GREY until she passed away 3 yrs ago. When my mom got sick, I moved home to be with her and Richard. I started working at Liberty after she died. I couldn't leave Richard alone, we both needed each other.

So, that it they way it is. I also would like to inform you Richard, that you have hired a complete incompetent, arrogant asshole who doesn't research before taking a job. Any doctor would be able to find out about me, God knows I've been featured in numerous medical magazines.

I'll meet you at home later, Dr. Sloan, you're going to need a pretty big shovel to dig your way out of this one. Meredith just looks at him and walks away to her office. She is still in shock, but she isn't surprised, he's a plastic surgeon, he's just like the others. All about image, never looking for the truth within, only how it looks on the surface.

Mark just stands there watching her leave while Richard just keeps glaring at him.

Ma:Why didn't you correct me yesterday? You could've told me.

R:That wouldn't have been as much fun. Besides, I wanted you to show her yourself that you aren't worthy of her. And, yes, I am her father. Have a good day Dr. Sloan.

Mark watches him walk away. He keeps shaking his head….

Ma:Shit, what the hell? How did I get myself into this? More importantly, how do I dig myself out?


	17. Chapter 17

It's been a couple of months, and now it is approaching Christmas time. Meredith had taken some time off with Michael and Richard. They had flown to Seattle to spend Thanksgiving with her friends. She enjoyed her time with them. She had so much fun with Michael. He was playing with Cristina and Burke's son who was almost 3. They were able to take a ride on the ferry boats, which Michael absolutely loved. While she was out one afternoon, alone, she took a drive. She wasn't anticipating going there, her car kind of drove itself there. She just had to see, just to see if he had come back. As she made her way up the gravel drive, she noticed a house. She didn't know what to think. There in front of her was a beautiful home. She quickly turned her car around and left. She didn't want the family inside to see some stranger, that wasn't fair to them. As she was driving away, she was crying. She was too busy wiping her tears away to notice that a lone person had emerged from the house and was watching her leave. He had noticed the lights approaching the house, and was curious. There was only one person that would come. He was sure it was her. When he got outside, he saw that he was too late. She had left, not knowing that it was his house. What was she doing here in Seattle? More importantly, why had she come?

Meredith returned to New York the next day. She made the decision to move on. She was also excited because everyone had agreed to come to New York for Christmas.

Meredith had a couple of days off, so she had planned to put up the Christmas tree with Michael that morning. She had been able to pull the tree out of storage the night before, just so it wouldn't delay them in the morning. Michael tends to take a while, she didn't want him to be impatient, so she thought it best that she be prepared. She had all of her decorations ready to go and the lights had been tested. She wakes up to Michael jumping on her bed. He loved decorating the tree with his mom. They always had fun. Michael's job was putting on the decorations, well, as many as he could, He could generally only reach the bottom 3rd of the tree, and he placed several ornaments on the same branch. Meredith just smiled at him, she would leave it the way he did it for a while, when he would go to bed, she would fix it. But she didn't make it too obvious. Michael didn't seem to notice anything different; he continued to count down until Santa was coming, his favorite part of the whole season.

Meredith was working a lot at the Hospital, she wanted to get in as many hours as she could before Christmas. She was hoping to have 3 or 4 days off, she wanted to spend as much time with her friends as she could. While she was baking some of her Christmas cookies, she received a phone call. One that would change her life.


	18. Chapter 18

_Ring Ring _

M:Hello?

Ash:Meredith? It's Ashley.

M:Ashley? Are you ok? You seem upset.

Ash:It's Martin, he's hurt.

M:What? What happened? Where are you?

Ash:He's on his way to Liberty now. I made them take him there. I got a call from the Team Doctor, he's hurt Meri, he was knocked unconscious during the game. Oh God Meri, what do I do? Please, you've got to help.

M:Oh my God, Ok, Ashley, I'm on my way right now. I will meet you there, where are you?

Ash:I'm already here. I got the call and I was told to meet them here. I called you. Please, can you help him?

M:I'll be right there. Don't worry, I'll take care of him. When he gets there, let the Doctor know that I have been called and I am on my way. If there are any problems you call me right away. Have the Team Doctor stay, I will want to talk to him.

Ash:ok, Thanks Meredith.

M:I'm on my way.

Richard helps Meredith get her things together, he is placing a call to the hospital to inform them that Brodeur is his VIP and Meredith is to have all staff co-operate. He also has instructed security to be reinforced. Brodeur is also somewhat of a celebrity, he didn't want the press all over his hospital.

Meredith arrives at Liberty and is greeted by the Chief Resident. He informs her of the details of Martin's injuries. Apparently at one point during the game, one of the Pittsburgh Penguins players charged the net while trying to score, knocked Brodeur's helmet off and sent him flying into the cross bar. He hit his head hard and then fell to the ice, the bleeding seemed to be under control, but he had yet to regain consciousness. His stats were stable and there was no indication of internal bleeding. Meredith thanked him and proceeded to the trauma room. She was greeted by Ashley who was beginning to fall apart.

M:Ashley? What are you doing in here? You're not supposed to be in here.

Ash:I couldn't leave him until you got here. Please, is he going to be ok? Meredith, please? She began to cry. Meredith hugged her and took her out of the room.

M:You know that I am going to do everything I can. But I need you to wait out here. I will come and get you as soon as I know anything. I Promise. Is anyone here that can wait with you?

Ash:Yes, Martin's parents. They came to visit and watch the game. My parents are at home with the boys.

M:Ok, I will be out as soon as I can, you have to let me do my job. Ashley nods her head as she watches Meredith walk back into the room. She picks up his chart and starts to study it. She walks over to him.

Martin, it's me Meredith, can you hear me? You're here with me at Liberty Wellness Centre. I'm going to take care of you and get you back to Ashley and the boys. I promise. Tears are slowly making her way down her face. She wipes them away, squeezes his hand and starts to evaluate him further.

Is the Team Doctor still here?

CR:yes Dr. Grey. We asked him to wait. He seems to be a friend of Mr. Brodeur. He said he would do whatever he could to help.


	19. Chapter 19

M:Well, I'm not sure what he can do, he's just the Team Doctor. His job is to evaluate and keep the players alive until the get them to us. Ok, I need a full in depth MRI, I don't want to miss anything, I'm guessing all of the standard blood work has been sent to the lab.

CR:Yes Dr. Grey. Dr. Webber called and informed us of Mr. Brodeur's priority.

M:Thank you doctor. If you can accompany him for his MRI, I will meet you up there. I'm going to talk to the family. Meredith hands his chart to the Chief Resident and walks out of the room to meet Ashley and hopefully the Team Doctor.

M:Ashley?

Ash:Mer, how is he?

M:I'm taking him for an MRI, everything else looks good. But he's not awake. I'm guessing that the blunt trauma to bit head may have caused an internal bleed in his brain, I just need to find it.

Ash:Oh my God. His brain is bleeding? Is he going to be ok?

M:I will know more once I see the results. I'm on my way there now, I want to be there as soon as the scans come up. I'll be with him the whole time, promise. As soon as I know more, I'll let you know.

Ash:Ok, thank you.

M:Ok, I was told that the Team Doctor is here. Do you know where I might find him?

Ash:Oh God, ummm. Didn't they tell you?

M:Tell me what? I was told that he was waiting here, that he was a friend.

Ash:He is a friend, he was a friend. Oh God Mer, do you have to talk to him?

M:It would help. Just then her beeper signals that Martin's scans are ready, Ok, that's Martin's scans, I have to go. If you see the Team Doctor, tell him not to leave, I need to speak to him.

Meredith turns and leaves. When she is out of site, Derek comes into view. He can't believe his eyes. He can't believe she is here. Ashley turns to him.

Ash:I don't know what to tell her. She says that as the Team Doctor, she needs to talk to you. If it were any other player I would tell you to leave. But you need to talk to her, I need you to talk to her. Please Derek. It's my husband. Ashley begins crying, she is scared. Not only of losing her husband; but of Derek hurting her friend, she doesn't know how Meredith will react.

D:I'll talk to her.

Ashley walks away leaving Derek to himself. He asks the nurse what room Martin will be taken to, she tells him and gives him directions. Derek takes a deep breath and makes his way to the 3rd floor. He figures meeting her upstairs will be better than down here in the lobby, less of an intrusion. Less of an audience, she won't want to be the gossip of the hospital, especially if she has moved on.


	20. Chapter 20

Meredith meets with the Chief Resident to review the scans. It clearly shows a minor bleed, easily fixed. It explains his unconsciousness. Once repaired, it will only be a matter of time before he wakes up. She tells the Chief Resident to prepare him for surgery, and she leaves to tell Ashley.

M:Ashley, I found the cause of his unconsciousness. He has a small tear in his brain. I can easily repair it. I just want to get in as soon as possible. Do I have your ok to proceed?

Ash:It's fixable?

M:Yes, I can fix it. He should have a full recovery.

Ash:Are there many complications?

M:As with any surgery, yes. And this is brain surgery. So, yes there are always complications. I am very good at what I do. I won't be in there too long. I just need your ok.

Ash:Ok, ok, you can. As long as you bring him back to me. I trust you.

M:Ok, I'll let you know when I'm done. Ok. It shouldn't be more than a couple of hours.

Meredith leaves to scrub in. She is nervous, but she can do this. She has to. She walks into the OR,

M: Good Evening everyone, let's get to work, we have a life to save. Just as she is about to begin the surgery, she turns to one of the scrub nurse's. Umm, before we play the usual music mix, I was hoping that you wouldn't mind playing this instead.

SN:Of course Dr. Grey. Meredith hands her Martin's iPod, the scrub nurse plugs it in and everyone involved with the surgery smiles.

M:Mr. Brodeur is one of my best friends, he would want his family with him, it's the least I can do. Scalpel. Meredith completes the surgery flawless. She remains poised and collected. She doesn't allow herself to think about Ashley or Martin. She concentrates on the task at hand. As she finishes up, she takes a deep breath.

CR:Well done Dr. Grey. Would you like me to close?

M:with tears in her eyes, she is no longer able to hide her emotions. Yes, please. Thank you Doctor. She looks around the room, Thank you, all of you. If you could make sure that his iPod remains with him please.

SN:I will personally make sure Dr. Grey. Well done.

Meredith smiles at her and thanks her again. She walks out of the OR. Once she finishes talking to Ashley, she leaves to meet Martin in his room. She is going to personally monitor his progress. She wants to make sure she didn't miss anything. She walks up to the Nurse's station, and picks up his chart.

M:Has Mr. Brodeur returned to his room yet?

N:Yes Dr. Grey. I am also supposed to tell you that the Team Doctor is in the room with him. He was told you wanted to talk to him.

M:Thank you. She turns to enter his room, she is still occupied with marking something in Martin's Chart, she doesn't see Derek sitting in the corner. As she approaches, she notices the doctor standing up. He is looking at her. She stops. No, it can't be. It can't be him.

D:Hello Meredith.


	21. Chapter 21

Meredith just stares at him. She is unable to move. She can't speak. She almost forgets where she is and why she is there. Martin starts stirring in his bed. She moves over to his bed to greet him as he is waking up.

M:Martin? Can you hear me? It's me Meredith?

Brodeur:Meredith? Where am I?

M:You are at Liberty Wellness Centre. Do you remember what happened?

Brodeur:We were playing the Penguins, Roberts came out of the corner and drove right at me. I remember hitting my head and that's all. Now I'm here. Is there something wrong?

M:No, that's good. That's exactly what happened. You were admitted and Ashley called me.

Brodeur:Oh God, Ashley, where is she?

M:Don't you dare move. I just repaired a bleeder in your brain. You are not going to move. I have already seen her and talked to her. You are going to be fine. You need to rest.

Brodeur:Hey, now that we're alone, how about that dance? You keep promising me, but we never have the opportunity.

M:She looks down at him and smiles through her tears, I can't give you the private dance, one because Ashley would kill me and then kill you, and two; you'd have a heart attack – you wouldn't be able to handle it. But I can give you a kiss.

Meredith leans over and kisses him softly and quickly.

Brodeur:Thanks Mer, for everything. You're one in a million.

M:So are you and Ashley. I love you both so much. Now, get some rest, I'll be back later to check on you. I'll send Ashley up to see you.

Brodeur nodded and closed his eyes to rest. Neither of them noticed Derek in the room. He had left them alone. He waited outside for her to come out. Not too long after, she came out wiping her tears. Oblivious to anyone in the hall, she walks away to her office. She doesn't notice him following her. She reaches her office and once inside, she collapses on the floor crying. She is crying so hard that she doesn't notice her office door open. Derek enters the dark room and sees her on the floor. He is crying overwhelmed with everything that has happened. He walks over to her slowly and puts his hand on her back, he bends down to cradle her. He picks her up slowly and takes her to the couch. He just holds her. She is crying so much that she doesn't even know that it's Derek that's with her. When she finally falls asleep, Derek lays her down on the couch and puts a blanket on her. He walks over to her desk to sit down. He sees all of the pictures of her and a little boy on her desk. He looks for pictures of the boy's father, but doesn't see one. He picks up one of the framed pictures of Meredith and her son. There's something about the boy that causes him to stare. He has a familiar look to him. He replaces the picture and looks over at Meredith, who is sitting up looking at him.

Derek gets up and walks over to her slowly. He kneels down in front of her. He is crying as he holds her face in his hands.

D:I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Meredith.

M:Please leave me alone.

Derek nods his head and gets up to leave. He looks back at her. She hasn't moved.

D:You probably know, but, I am the Team Doctor. I'll be here when you want to talk to me about what happened to Martin.

M:I need a few minutes, I will meet you in his room.

D:K. He closes the door gently and leaves her alone. She stays sitting in the dark for a few minutes. Then she hears a knock at the door. And it opens slowly.


	22. Chapter 22

Ash:Mer? Are you in here?

M:Ashley, why didn't you tell me?

Ash:Derek made Martin promise that he wouldn't. He figured he'd hurt you enough, and he didn't want to hurt you again. Martin just told me a few months ago. I didn't know, I promise. When we saw you in October, you were so upset, I just couldn't. I'm sorry.

M:Ok. Have you seen Martin?

Ash:Yes, I have. Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here.

M:He would have been fine. He would never leave you.

Ash:He told me that he could hear me and the boys. He said that it was like we were with him the whole time.

Meredith smiled at her friend.

M:You were.

Ash:We were, in his thoughts, but you were there. That's probably why he's thinking that.

M:No, you and the boys were there. While in surgery, we usually have an array of music that we play. It relaxes us. However, during his surgery, all I could think about was you and the boys. So, I plugged in his iPod.

Ashley looked at her friend with tears in her eyes.

M:So, you were there. Martin heard you. That's what he's talking about.

Ash:You are such a good friend. Thank you Meredith.

M:You're Welcome. Now, I need to get changed and check on my patient. I will meet you in his room.

Ash:She gets up to leave, Mer? You aren't mad at us are you?

M:No, I'm not. I understand why you didn't tell me. I told him I would meet him in Martin's room. I'll be there soon.

Ash:Ok, Thank you Dr. Grey. Ashley smiles at her friend, and leaves her room.

Meredith gets up and goes to take a shower. She is not looking forward to seeing him again, but the sooner she talks to him, the sooner he can leave.

Meredith walks to her bathroom to have a shower, she lets the hot water run over her for a while. She is buying her time, she needs to prepared herself to talk to him. After she is finished showering, she gets dressed. Just before she is about to leave, she picks up her phone and makes a call.


	23. Chapter 23

_Ring, Ring_

C:Hello?

M:Cristina?

C:Meredith? What's wrong, you sound like you've seen Shepherd? It can't be that bad.

Meredith remains silent.

C:That son of a bitch! I'm going to kick his ass. Where are you? More importantly, where is he? You didn't sleep with him did you?

M:Cristina!

C:Sorry, I had to be sure, after all you are you, and well, it's him. You and him, you don't last long in a room together with clothes on.

M:Cristina, seriously. I called you for support – this is not being supportive.

C:Since when do I do supportive? You should have called Izzie. What do you want me to say?

M:I don't know. Just something.

C:Ok, Something.

M:I'm hanging up now. I'll call Izzie.

C:Ok, keep your pants on. Where did you see him?

M:He's here because of Martin, he got hurt during hid game tonight. So, when I needed to talk to the Team Doctor, it was Derek. Derek is the Team Doctor for The New Jersey Devils.

C:Wait, he left SG, returned to his wife and then joined a NHL team as their Doctor? Oh man, I so don't need to kick his ass, he did it himself.

M:Maybe I should call Izzie..she's still awake – right?

C:Seriously. Think about it Mer. It's your answer. He chose this life, he doesn't deserve you. Is he still married?

M:I don't know, I didn't have a chance to ask.

C:Well, I think that you should find out. It's been what 4 years….something's going on, what is he hiding from?

M:Thanks Cristina….I'll see you soon. You're still coming for Christmas, right?

C:Oh yeah, Burke's packed already. You better be picking us up at the airport. I don't want to have some ignorant cab driver.

M:Laughing, don't worry, I'll be there.

C:Bye

M:Bye.


	24. Chapter 24

Meredith hangs up the phone. She starts to head out to Martin's room wondering about Derek. Why is he the Team Doctor? Is he still married? Is he running or hiding from something? She is working up the courage to talk to him, when she turns the corner and runs directly into him. She starts to fall over, but he grabs her and holds her steady. He looks into her eyes. They stay like that for a few minutes. They are interrupted by someone walking down the hall.

Ma:Ahh, Dr. Grey, just the doctor I was looking for. He stops short of her and looks at Derek. What the fuck are you doing here?

Meredith looks at Mark and then at Derek. Hoping to find some answers.

D:Me? What the hell are you doing here? I thought that you were in LA. Isn't that what you told Addison?

Ma:Yeah, well, I'm here now. What are you doing here? Don't tell me you left her, again?

D:No, I didn't leave her, she left me. 3 years ago, she's been waiting for you.

M:What is going on here? How do you know him Dr. Sloan?

Ma:Well, Dr. Grey, allow me to introduce you to my former best friend, Dr. Derek Shepherd. Used to be the best Neurologist in the country.

D:Don't Mark. Save it.

M:Oh my God. She turns to Derek and then to Mark.

Ma:Wait, do you know each other?

D:Yeah we do.

Ma:This is the one. She's the one isn't she? Meredith you are the one.

M:One what? What the hell is going on?

Ma:Derek, I think that I will let you explain. Since you seem to have left her in the dark long enough. Turning to Meredith, I'll see you around and when you want to know the truth…come and find me. He starts to leave, by the way, I was coming to say that I'm sorry to hear about Brodeur. You did a great job, just wanted you to know. Not that you needed to know, I just wanted to tell you. It's not hard operating on someone you love.


	25. Chapter 25

Meredith smiled at him and watched him leave. She turned back to Derek who was still standing there in shock. Not sure what to do or what to say. He just looked at Meredith, hoping to read her, hoping to God that she would say something.

M:I think that we better talk, in my office, now. She turns and walks back to her office quickly without looking back. She can tell that he is following her.

She walks into her office and sits on the couch. She waits for Derek to enter. When he does, he walks in slowly and closes the door behind him. He starts walking over to her, but doesn't sit on the couch beside her, rather in the arm chair that is across from her.

D:I can't believe he is here. I never thought that I would see him again.

M:You don't get to feel sorry for yourself right now. I want some answers and I want them now.

D:I don't know if I can give you what you want to hear.

M:Derek, I didn't say you had to tell me what I want to hear, I said I want answers. I deserve answers.

D:Ok, when I met you….

M:Interrupts him…NO, this is how it is going to work. I am going to ask you direct questions, and you are going to give me direct answers. I don't want you to be sensitive or sweet or caring, I need the truth. I deserve to hear the truth from you. You owe me that.

D:Ok, truth.

M:How do you know Mark Sloan?

D:We grew up together. He was practically my brother growing up. We went to med school and did our internship together.

M:Ok, why aren't you friends now?

D:Cutting right to it aren't you Mer? You've changed, you were never this direct.

M:Yeah, well, my life didn't go exactly as planned, did it? So, quit stalling, tell me the truth. Why aren't you friends now?

D:long or short version?

M:Depends. Start with the short and then we'll go from there if I want more information.

D:Geez, this is like an interrogation.

M:What? Did you think that you could just walk in and pretend like everything was ok? Were you expecting me to say, thank you for apologizing, and then accept you back into my life as if you did nothing remotely wrong? Think again, now, please, I'm waiting.

D:I slept with his wife.

M:Come again?


	26. Chapter 26

D:Mark and Addison were married. Well, when we were interns, we were all best friends. Mark had met Addison in med school. They fit together and complimented each other really well. After a while, Mark became absent. He stopped coming home at night, he stopped calling, he started asking me to take her out and such. Things that he should have been doing. Well, after a while, I started falling for her, and one night, one thing led to another and we were in bed together. It just so happened that Mark happened to have come home early that night. He caught us in their bed.

M:Well, I would hate you too.

D:Yeah, I guess so.

M:Ok, so, what happened? You seem to have missed a few details. I remember clearly reading a letter stating that you had to return to your wife. I think you better fill in the blanks, and quickly.

D:After a while, Mark and Addison got divorced. She came to New York, and we found each other working at the same hospital, again. Not here, NY General.

M:I wasn't asking.

D:But I know what you are thinking.

M:Ok, are you going to continue?

D:Well, we started seeing each other, and one day she tells me she's pregnant.

Meredith just looks at him.

D:So, we decide to get married, you know, for the baby. I never loved her, she never loved me, it was just a front. So, after we get married, everything is going fine, except, she's absent. She stops coming home, she stops calling, she almost disappears. I figure that it's just because of her pregnancy, that it's fatigue. But then one day I see Mark at the hospital. He was standing in her office, and he had his hand on my wife's abdomen. He was caressing my baby, and Addison was just looking at him. That night, when she eventually came home, I asked her how her day was. She told me that she had had her OBGYN appointment and that everything was fine. I was wondering why she didn't tell me about it, I told her that I would have liked to have been there. She laughed. Then it dawned on me, it wasn't my baby. It was Marks.

Meredith didn't look up at him. She just stared at the floor. She could tell that he was crying, but she couldn't say anything, she just let him continue.

D:So, then, when she admitted it finally, I left. I left New York and came to Seattle. I left and found you. When I left 4 years ago, it was because Addison had miscarried. She was 35 weeks. The baby was in distress, and there was nothing they could have done to save her. Addison's mom called me. They guilted me into coming out to Greenwhich to take care of her. They told me she was dying, only it wasn't completely true. She was dying, just emotionally, not physically. I found out after I got there. I couldn't just leave her. She was so broken. After all, she was my wife.

I know that I owed her nothing, I know that I didn't love her, I know that I had no obligation for her or the baby; but I just couldn't say no. When I got there, the only person she would talk to was me. Even Mark had been there, but she would just cry. She went deeper into her depression. For some reason, she opened up to me. I think that it had to do with the fact that we had been friends for so long. Anyways, after about a year, she was able to get back on her feet. She had even started working again. That's when she told me, that's when she told me that she was still in love with Mark. And she knew about you.

M:Looked up at him. You told her about me?


	27. Chapter 27

D:Looked in her eyes, yeah, I told her about you. She said that one day, she wanted to meet the girl who had taken my heart. I only ever loved you Meredith. I just couldn't leave her. I couldn't leave her to wither away.

M:Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me the truth?

D:Because, I couldn't tell you something that I didn't fully understand myself. I tried, several times, but the words never came out.

M:Ok, so, now, why are you with Martin? Why are you with New Jersey? Why didn't you come back to SG?

D:Because, I couldn't face you. I couldn't return and see you. Not knowing if you had moved on. Not knowing how much I had hurt you, I wasn't able to look myself in the mirror, I just couldn't face you. So, when I heard that the NHL was hiring some new Team Doctors, I called up Gary Bettmen myself, and he offered me a job with the team of my choice. Had I known now that Ashley hated me so much, I would have chosen a different location.

M:They gave you a hard time?

D:To say the least. Especially Martin.

M:God I love them.

D:Yeah, well they love you too. I had to follow his rules, as long as I did, he wouldn't tell Ashley where I was. A few months ago, I made the mistake of asking him if he still was in touch with you. That's when he told her. The very next game, she showed up. I've only seen her two times since then. The last time was downstairs, the time before that, it was in SRO.

M:You were there?

D:Apparently, I came in just a few minutes after you had left. As they were leaving, I stopped them. I was only hoping to talk to them, but Ashley just walked out.

M:So, why didn't you try to call me? Why didn't you try to talk to me?

D:I did, once.

M:I would've remembered. You never called me.

D:No, but I went back once to SG, I went to find you.

M:When? I would have seen you.

D:It was about 2 ½ years ago. I walked in and made my way down to the corridor in the basement. You know, the one where you guys would always sit and hide from Bailey. As I was walking down the hall, I could hear them talking about you. Cristina said something about you having Michael and that you weren't around like you used to be.

Meredith shot her head up and stared straight at him.


	28. Chapter 28

D:So, I left, I didn't want to interfere with your life, you had moved on. So I needed to leave. You didn't deserve me walking back into your life like that. It wasn't fair to you.

M:Did you hear them say anything else?

D:I didn't stay long. Once I heard that you had moved on, I couldn't bear it. I left. I couldn't watch you be happy with another man.

M:So, that's it?

D:That's it. Derek looked around. Uneasy at the silence, he cleared his throat. So, are you happy? Are you happy with Michael?

Meredith's eyes lit up at the sound of his name. She smiled just thinking about him.

D:I'll take that as a yes.

M:Looks up at him. What do you mean?

D:Your eyes, they tell me everything. You can see how happy he makes you. I'm glad, you deserve to be happy.

Meredith was trying to find the words to tell him, when her phone rang. She looked down at it and saw it was home.

M:I'm sorry, I have to take this. Hello?

Hi Richard.

No, yeah he will make a full recovery. I haven't checked on him yet, he's with Ashley right now.

I will.

He does?

Ok, put him on.

Hi buddy!

I miss you too!

Are you being good for grandpa?

Good.

Yes, I will see you at daycare in the morning.

Night buddy, I love you.

Thanks Richard.

Are you sure you don't mind?

K, I'll see you in the morning.

Bye.

Meredith turns back to see Derek staring at her. He is holding something. He walks up to her.

D:Is this who you were talking to?

M:Yes. It's my son.

D:What's his name?

M:swallows hard. She wasn't sure if she was ready to tell him. Umm, why? Why do you want to know?

D:I noticed earlier that there are no pictures of the father, why?

M:He's not in the picture. She doesn't look at him. She can't look up. She knows that the minute she does, he'll know. He'll see it in her eyes.

D:walks up to her slowly. What's your son's name?


	29. Chapter 29

D:walks up to her slowly. What's your son's name?

M:M..Mi…Michael. She can't stop the tears from falling. She can't look up at him.

Derek walks over to her, places the picture back on her desk. He walks up to her, holds her face in his hand and raises her face to look at him. He knows. He looks at her, they are both crying. He wipes the tears from her face and looks into her eyes. With that, he leans in and kisses her. He kisses her with so much passion and full of love. She returns the kiss with the same intensity. When they pull apart, he holds her close to him. She is crying, clinging to him.

D:I'm sorry. I'm sorry Meredith. I didn't know. If I had known, I wouldn't have left. I would have come back to you. I'm so sorry. I never stopped loving you. Please believe that. Please believe me. I need you to believe me.

They didn't let go of each other. Meredith was still clinging to him, almost afraid that if she let go, he would be gone. He would disappear and she would never see him again.

D:I'm not ever leaving you again. I've found you, and I need you in my life.

M:I love you too.

Derek pulls her head up to his, they kiss again. Softly, gently, but with all the want and desire that they are both needing in their lives. Neither of them have moved on, they are still in love with each other, and it's easy to see. Derek picks her up and takes her over to the couch. They never stop kissing. Once they reach the couch, their kissing intensifies. Derek starts kissing her neck with so much desire. He can hear her breathing start to change. He knows that she wants him as much as he wants her. He stops and looks at her.

D:I love you Meredith Grey.

M:I love you to Derek. He leans in to kiss her again, but she stops him. I don't know if we should continue. I mean I want to, it's been 4 years, but I don't know if I can, not yet.

D:It's been 4 years? You mean, you haven't been with anyone since me?

M:Moving off of him, I couldn't. I tried, but I just couldn't. When you left, you took my heart. When Michael was born, the only one I could think about was you. Whenever I look at him, you're all I see. I've had the opportunity, especially with Martin and Ashley trying to set me up with all of the hockey players. None of them played for the Devils, so I couldn't. Just didn't seem right, you know dating someone on a different team, and cheering for the Devils. At least you took a job with them, maybe then I can be seen in public with you.

D:Well, I'm relieved. I'm surprised. I thought that someone would have swept you off your feet. I was so sure, especially when I heard Cristina talk about you having Michael. It never even dawned on me that it was your son, our son.

M:Yeah. What about you? What about after you and Addison?

D:I never slept with Addison. Not since New York. Not since before you. Don't get me wrong, we tried once, but it was just so wrong. I couldn't. I felt like I was betraying you. Even though I thought you were with someone, it's almost like I had to see it, before I believed it.

M:looked up at him. You waited? For me?

D:Yeah, I did.

M:Wow, aren't we a couple of idiots. Laughing. I thought that you didn't love me. I thought because you left me for her, that you didn't love me.

Derek grabbed her.

D:No, I did love you. I still love you. You Meredith Grey are everything to me. You have made my whole world stop. I have nothing without you. I am nothing without you. These past few years have been a nightmare for me. The only thing that has kept me going was the chance that one day I would see you again. Please believe me. There hasn't been one day that has passed by where I haven't thought of you. You are a part of me. That will never change. Even if you tell me to walk out of this room, to leave you, you will forever be a part of me.

Meredith just looks at him, unable to stop the tears that are falling down her face.

M:Please don't leave Derek. Please don't leave me again, I don't think I could handle it.

Derek pulls her to him, holds her tight,

D:Oh God Baby, I'm here, I'm here to stay. Please, believe me. I'm not leaving you ever. I'm here. God I missed you.


	30. Chapter 30

M:I missed you too. She leans in and kisses him. Their kissing intensifies. They are holding each other with so much desire. When they are interrupted by Meredith's pager beeping. Perfect timing. She reaches over and checks it. It's Martin. I have to go.

D:I'm coming with you.

M:They might be surprised to see us together – are you sure? It might mean a lot of questions.

D:I can handle it. Martin knows everything. I'm sure Ashley does too. I can take it.

M:They know about Addison? The reason you left?

D:yeah, when I saw Martin with the team. One night while we were in St. Louis, we went for a drink. I told him everything. I made him promise to not tell you. He had told me you were trying to move on with your life and he told me how badly you had been hurting. I made him promise not to tell Ashley or you anything. So, he did until a few months ago.

M:What happened a few months ago?

D:I asked him how you were doing. It was one of the agreements between us. He wouldn't say anything, as long as I didn't ask him about you. As soon as I did, he went to Ashley. That's when I got it full tilt.

M:Good. This is why I love them. We better go.

D:Yeah, lets. We need to face the barrage of questions sooner or later. Might as well be while they are in the same room, at the same time.

Meredith and Derek walk to Martin's room together. When they get there, they see Ashley sitting on his bed smiling and talking to Martin. When she hears someone walk in, they both look up.

Brodeur:Well, well, well, isn't it my favorite Neuro Surgeon and my not so favorite Neuro surgeon.

M:Martin how are you feeling?

Brodeur:I'm fine, thanks to you. Looks over at Derek, what about you?

M:I'm fine. She walks over and starts to examine Martin. She can feel Ashley staring at her. She is just waiting.

Ash:So, what's going on? You guys aren't fighting, you aren't doing anything?

Brodeur:Ummm, yeah. What's going on? Meredith?

M:First, I need to ask you some questions, do you have any headaches?

Brodeur:Umm, you cut my head open, isn't it supposed to hurt?

M:You know what I mean, is your head hurting only because of the surgery, or is it hurting because of some other reason?

Brodeur:No, I don't have any headaches. Looks at Derek, well not at the moment anyways.


	31. Chapter 31

M:You know what I mean, is your head hurting only because of the surgery, or is it hurting because of some other reason?

Brodeur:No, I don't have any headaches. Looks at Derek, well not at the moment anyways.

M:Ok, that's good. You will have to stay for a few more days just as a precaution. Mandatory confinement after brain surgery.

Brodeur:What about getting clearance to play again?

Ash:No, not yet. It's too soon.

Brodeur:Ashley

M:No, Ashley's right. You won't be able to play just yet. You have to be cleared by the umm, by your Team Doctor.

D:That would be me.

Brodeur:Great, now I'll never be cleared.

D:What's that supposed to mean?

Brodeur:I think we both know what that means. It means that you are still pissed off with me, so you will avoid clearing me, just to see me miserable.

D:Ok, enough. Ashley, Meredith, sit down. It's time we all talked. Derek walks over to the door and closes it. He pulls the curtain. He just looks at the three of them.

Ok, now that we are alone. You can ask me anything. He looks at Meredith, then at Ashley and then at Martin. He takes a deep breath.

Brodeur:Ok, well, I'll start. Meredith needs to know the truth. For once and for all.

D:I told her. Everything. That's why we took so long coming here to see you.

Ash:Everything?

D:Everything.

Brodeur:About Addison, the baby, the not so close to dying, the part about hearing about Michael.

D:everything.

Ash:I don't know what to say. Meredith, what did he tell you?

M:Everything. He told me everything.

Brodeur:Ok, well I'm confused.

D:You just had brain surgery, you're supposed to be confused.

Brodeur:That's the first time I've seen you smile in 2 ½ years. What's going on here?

M:I don't know.

Ash:What did you tell him about the last 4 years? She is nervous, she isn't sure if Meredith told him about his son. She doesn't want to push.

M:looks up at her. He knows.

Brodeur:Looks at Derek. Finally.


	32. Chapter 32

Ash:What?

Brodeur:Ok, he knows. I'm relieved. I hated not telling him about Michael.

M:Why didn't you say anything before?

Brodeur:Ok, let's put it this way. Whenever we would see you, what was I supposed to say? By the way, Mer, I think that you should tell Derek that he has a son? I wasn't supposed to tell you that I knew where he was.

D:It doesn't matter why you didn't. That was my fault. I told you not to tell her about me. No one is to blame here, except for me. Besides, he may be my son, but Meredith is his mother. It's up to her whether or not I see him.

M:Really? You aren't going to fight me for him? She is shaking. That had been one of her fears, the Derek would find out about Michael and take him away from her.

D:No, I wouldn't do that. He walks over to her, kneels down and looks into her eyes. I told you, I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving Michael. I'm not leaving, I'm here for good. I love you, I love Michael. I'm not taking him, because if I did, that would mean that I can't have you. I want you. I want us. I've only ever wanted us.

Meredith smiles through her tears.

M:You love Michael? You haven't even met him yet.

D:I don't have to, he's a part of you, I'm betting that he's all you. I'm in love with him already.

Ash:Ok, before I start to cry, what does this mean for you two. Are you back together, or do I still get to kick his ass?

M:No, you can kick his ass. But from what I understand, both you and Martin have been doing that for the last few years anyways. Thank you by the way.

Brodeur:It was my pleasure. But does this mean I have to start being nice? I kind of got used to giving him a hard time.

D:well, easing up on the dirty looks will get you a bit closer to being cleared faster. Unless you want to stay in physio longer…that's up to you. Derek smiles at him, Martin just laughs and smiles back.

Brodeur:It's good to have you back.

D:Takes a deep breath. It's good to be back.

Ashley walks over to Derek, she raises her hand to smack the back of his head.

D:Oww, I guess I deserve that.

Ash:You even remotely try anything like this again, I will hunt you down and kill you.

D:I won't. Don't worry.

Ashley looks at him and hugs him.

Ash:Well as sweet as this is, I can't wait until Cristina gets a hold of you.

Meredith starts laughing. Martin and Ashley start laughing too. Derek just stands there stunned. He almost forgot about her, about her friends from Seattle. Shit, what was he going to say to them?


	33. Chapter 33

M:Well, as fun as this little reunion is, Martin you need some rest. I will come back in the morning to check on you. Ashley, why don't you bring the boys to see him. I'm sure that they will want to see their dad.

Ash:Really? He's ok?

M:Looks at her friend, Really, he's ok.

Brodeur:Thanks Mer.

M:You're welcome. Looks at her friends, Good night.

Both her and Derek leave the room together. They both walk to her office in silence.

M:You're quiet all of a sudden. What's going on? She is nervous. She is still unsure of everything.

D:I kind of forgot about Cristina.

M:laughing, you're still thinking about her?

D:Yeah, well, at least I won't be seeing them for a while. Weren't you just in Seattle?

Meredith looks up at him.

M:How did you know that? Did Brodeur tell you?

D:I saw you.

M:what? Not sure what to say. When? How come I didn't see you?

D:Looks at her, and then down at his feet. You didn't see me, because you were driving away.

Meredith stopped. She knew exactly what he was talking about. She looked up at him.

M:That was your house?

D:Yeah, I came out onto the porch as you were pulling away back down the drive.

Derek sighed and walked over to the couch. Meredith sat down stunned. She didn't move.

D:I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.


	34. Chapter 34

M:No, it's just, I went there by myself, it wasn't the first time. After Michael was born, I used to take him there for walks. When your trailer was still there, when I knew you weren't. I would go for walks with him around the lake. In the summer I would take him swimming and let him play in the sand. It was my way of connecting him to you. When I went there at thanksgiving, it was the first time in a couple of years. I thought that you had sold the land. Meredith was crying at this point. She was curled over crying. Derek rushed to hold her before she fell on the floor.

I never thought that you would ever sell your land, and when I went there that afternoon, I saw the house. I looked everywhere for the trailer, but I couldn't find it. I turned around before the owners came out, I didn't want them to see me. I left thinking that I had lost you for good. I cried all the way back to my mother's house, I cried thinking that Michael would never know you.

Derek picked her up and held her close. He was crying, had he known. He would have driven after her. He picked her up and held her in his arms, both of them crying. When she finally stopped, she didn't want to let go.

D:I could never sell my land. Last year, I had noticed that there had been some damage done to my trailer, so I decided to build. I spent the off season there. I sometimes thought that someone had been there. I would find footprints in the sand, or in the mud along the trail. I had even found a blanket at one time. It was down by the lake.

M:You found it? I went back looking for it; it was Michael's baby blanket. I left it accidentally one day when it had started to rain. I went back a couple of days later to get it, but it was gone. I thought someone had taken it, so I left. That was the last time I had taken Michael there. Sorry about your trailer having some damage. I might have had something to do with that.

D:It's ok. I figured as much. I decided to build a house. I thought that there wouldn't be as much damage done to a house as there was to the trailer. I'm sorry, I should have come after you that day.

M:It wouldn't have done any good. I probably would have run you over with my car. Or Cristina and Izzie would have. Richard would have killed you. He still might.

D:Great, can't wait. Well, at least it will be a while before I have to face them. Have you made plans with them yet?

M:Ummm, yeah actually I have.

D:When? When will you be getting together with them?

M:They are coming in 4 days. All of them are coming for Christmas.

D:Swallows hard. Oh, that's great. Meredith can sense some regret in saying that. I know I don't have the right to say anything, but you have plans for Christmas.

M:Yeah, we do.

D:Ok.


	35. Chapter 35

M:What were you supposed to be doing?

D:I was going to be in Seattle. My mom had wanted me to come home, but I was just going to be by myself. Christmas just hasn't been the same.

M:Clinging to him, she clutches his shirt in her hands. He wraps his arms around her tighter. She sighs, I know.

D:I'm sorry, I know that Christmas isn't your favorite holiday, I didn't mean anything by it.

M:I know. It's just, well, things have changed. I have Michael, Christmas is different. It has to be, for him.

D:You actually enjoy it now?

M:Why is that so hard to believe? You try being miserable with a toddler? His eyes light up at Christmas. It's become our holiday. It's not the same, you know, but I try, for him. He makes it worth the effort. His first Christmas, I didn't do too much. I mean, Santa spoiled him and such. But I mean with the decorations at my mom's house in Seattle. But, when we moved to New York, Richard and my mom had the house all decked out, worse than Izzie. You should have seen his eyes. They danced with the lights. That's when I realized, that I had to for him. Now, every year we decorate the tree together. This year, he actually did most of it on his own. I put up the lights, and he put on the decorations. Mind you, for a 3 year old, his idea of putting up the decorations is putting them all at his level and about 3 to a branch. So, after he goes to bed, I re-arranged them, but he never noticed. Every night until Christmas Eve, we sit by the tree and just listen to Christmas music. Sometimes, when a fun song comes on, we'll dance. Richard's joined us for a few dances, but usually it's just me and him. When I can't be there, Richard sits with him. But, I've been lucky here, there haven't been too many nights that I've missed.

They both sit in silence for what seems like hours. A few minutes later, Meredith looks up at Derek who has tears falling down his face. She puts her hand on his cheek and wipes his tears away.

M:Come home with me for Christmas Derek. Please, come home with me. Come home with us?

D:You'll still have me? Meredith just looks at him, searching. She's beginning to think that he won't want to. She starts to look away. He grabs her face with both hands. I will tomorrow.

M:Oh, ok. She starts to move. He pulls her to him tighter. What? You must have things to do. So, you should probably go.

Derek looks at her. He realizes that she thinks that he doesn't want to. He lets her get up. He goes to her office door. Stands in front of it, reaches for the handle. He can hear Meredith breathing heavy from across the room. Then, just as she thinks he is going to open it, he locks it instead. He turns slowly to see her looking at him crying. He walks over to her and stands in front of her.

D:I won't go home with you until tomorrow, because I want to spend tonight with you. He grabs her face and begins kissing her. She returns the kiss passionately. It starts intensifying, and she pulls away.

M:Not here, please anywhere but here. Her face is pressed to his cheek.

D:My hotel, it's close by. Do you want to go there?

M:Ok. Do you have your car?

D:No, I don't, I came with the Ambulance. I will call the Driver to pick us up.

M:Ok, while you are doing that, I'm going to call Richard. I want him to know where I am in case Michael needs me. Derek smiles at her.

They both pick up their phones and make the calls they need to. Derek can hear Meredith talking to Richard. He can sense something in her voice.

D:Whispering, Is everything ok?

M:Looks up at him, Richard wants to talk to you.


	36. Chapter 36

D:Ok, give me the phone. Let him say what he needs to say to me.

Meredith hands Derek the phone. She is biting her nails and pacing. She knew that Richard would be upset to know that she was leaving with Derek, but she refused to lie to him.

D:Hello Richard.

R:Derek? Meredith told me that you were there, I had to hear your voice to believe it myself.

D:Yeah, I'm here.

R:Ok, Meredith tells me that you talked. Apparently she is comfortable enough to stay with you tonight. I need you to know, that I'm not.

D:I understand sir.

R:So, I need to know. Are you going to leave her again?

D:No sir.

R:Are you going to try and take Michael away from her?

D:No sir.

R:What are your intentions as far as my daughter and grandson are?

D:Sir, I am here to stay. I'm not leaving. Ever.

R:Good, I expect to see you in my office tomorrow morning. Is that clear?

D:I will be there.

R:Good. I will see you then. Good night.

D:Good night sir.

Derek hangs ups the phone. He looks at Meredith. He walks over and kisses her.

D:We should go, the driver will be waiting for us. He reaches for her hand and they walk out of the hospital together. Neither of them saying a word.


	37. Chapter 37

D:Ok, give me the phone. Let him say what he needs to say to me.

Meredith hands Derek the phone. She is biting her nails and pacing. She knew that Richard would be upset to know that she was leaving with Derek, but she refused to lie to him.

D:Hello Richard.

R:Derek? Meredith told me that you were there, I had to hear your voice to believe it myself.

D:Yeah, I'm here.

R:Ok, Meredith tells me that you talked. Apparently she is comfortable enough to stay with you tonight. I need you to know, that I'm not.

D:I understand sir.

R:So, I need to know. Are you going to leave her again?

D:No sir.

R:Are you going to try and take Michael away from her?

D:No sir.

R:What are your intentions as far as my daughter and grandson are?

D:Sir, I am here to stay. I'm not leaving. Ever.

R:Good, I expect to see you in my office tomorrow morning. Is that clear?

D:I will be there.

R:Good. I will see you then. Good night.

D:Good night sir.

Derek hangs ups the phone. He looks at Meredith. He walks over and kisses her.

D:We should go, the driver will be waiting for us. He reaches for her hand and they walk out of the hospital together. Neither of them saying a word.

_**Hey, I know that it's short, but I wanted to give you something…..it was easier to break it here instead of later on…..Enjoy! Love your comments….thanks!**_


	38. Chapter 38

Derek greets the driver, who opens the door to the limo for them. Meredith climbs in, followed by Derek. They both sit in silence looking at each other during the drive to the hotel. Once they arrive, they thank the driver and walk into the Hotel together. Derek checks in at the front desk. He receives his key card and then walks over to Meredith who is waiting in the lobby. They both stay silent while they wait for the elevator, the ride up to his room is still quiet. Derek opens the door to his suite, and opens the door for Meredith. She walks in, he follows. Once in the room, he puts the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door knob, shuts the door and locks it.

Meredith is standing by the window. He walks up to her and puts his hands on her arms, caressing them to her shoulders. He moves her hair off of her shoulder, revealing her neck. He begins to kiss her neck softly. His hands are making their way through her hair, she begins to moan. Her arms reach around her to his back. She begins running her hands along his sides, making their way to his head. She is running her fingers through his hair, when he turns her around. He starts kissing her fervently; they are both filled with desire. She moves her fingers over the buttons on his shirt. She slowly begins to undo them, one at a time. She then removes his shirt running her hands over his chest. He picks her up and carries her to the bed, not once breaking the seal their lips had formed. He sits down with her on top of him. She pushes him back onto the bed. She moves her fingers down her shirt, she slowly undoes the buttons and removes her shirt. He sits back up caressing her skin. She was so beautiful, he kissed her neck, making his way down to her breasts. He slowly caresses them, as he does, he reaches behind her back and removes her bra. He gently sucks on her nipples running his hands all over her skin. Meredith moans, God she missed him. He was the only one that new what she liked, what she needed.

He flipped her over onto her back, made his way back to her lips. Her fingers moved towards his jeans. She slowly undid them and pushed them off. Once he was free of his jeans, she reached inside his boxers, and started massaging his very erect penis. He kissed her harder, moaning at the feel of her touch. She then helped him remove his boxers. He broke their kiss, and sat up, reaching for the button on her jeans, he removed them quickly. He helped her remove her underwear, then he stopped. He couldn't help but stare.

Meredith noticed this.

M:what? Is everything ok?

D:God yes, you are just so beautiful, breathtaking. I'm afraid that I'll wake up and this will all be a dream.

Meredith sits up and starts kissing him. She pulls him down on top of her.

M:Please make love to me Derek, please?

Derek wipes her tears away and looks right at her.

D:God I love you Meredith.

M:Looks back at him, I love you too. I love you so much.

Derek starts kissing her, and they begin to make love, they begin to explore each other and rediscover each other. The whole time, Derek never took his eyes off her. Meredith watched Derek, not once did they stop looking at each other.

They had always had a great sex life, but this was different. This was love. They made love for hours. Neither of them wanted the night to end. They were both afraid that it was a dream. Was this really happening? Meredith kissed Derek and looked into his eyes,

M:I love you Derek Shepherd. Please don't leave. Please don't leave me.

D:I love you too. I won't, I promise. You have my heart. He kissed her and she settled her head on his shoulder with his arm around her. He held onto her tight. When he could hear that she was asleep, he just listened to her breathe. I love you Meredith Grey, one day soon, I'm going to marry you.

M:Ok she whispered.

Derek's eyes shot open. Did she just say that? Did she say ok?


End file.
